This is a recurrent question that people ask me, and this actually a really good one because the answer is shredded between yes and no. I would love to say a categorical NO! —but the point is that deep down inside of me, a little voice keeps whispering “Yes it is, don’t be so naive”.
I don’t really this answer but the fact is that yes, a I have felt really weak and stupid a lot because of my kindness.
Why is being kind or good so otfen mistaken for bieng stupid?
When I say “stupid”, it’s not about cleverness; it’s about feeling stupid because of being exploited by others. A nice person tends to be someone pretty friendly, who does a lot for others and most of the time has hard times saying NO. This is exactly what I used to be!
Like a lot of people,for so many reasons I couldn’t say No.When I was younger, I used to be shy and I really wanted people to like me—I used to think that I said No maybe they wouldn’t like which in that case is really stupid.Another reason why I couln’t say No, I just didn’t want to seem impolite.I was afraid of being honest about what I thought or how I felt. I really wanted to avoid any kind of conflicts. What I didn’t know at that time is that telling to me people that you don’t agree with them is not unkind.I’m saying that I am not kind anymore or that I am completly badass though but I worked a lot on myself about not letting people use me and take advantage of me.
“Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most.” Unknown
Kindness rhymes with weakness:
The better I found the say NO to the question ‘Is it weak to be kind?’ was to look inside of me and try to understand why did I want to be kind now that I know how to say No to people. (Does is make sense to you?)
I don’t think Kindness is a weakness—I think the weakness is in the way you deal with it. I want to be kind because this is the way I chose to live my life.Being kind doesn’t make me weak and saying No doesn’t make me unkind. I don’t say No often, but when I do it, it’s because I have good reasons. For me, being kind is a way of life—it doesn’t mean that I am going to let everybody use me and exploit me. It means that I chose to be kind over being unkind. If you need help, and if there’s actually something that I can do to help you, then I’ll just do it and if for some reasons I can’t then I won’t. This is my philosphy.It needs to reunite those 2 factors: if I can and if I want, then you’ll find in me a big help.
“Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people” Karen Salmansohn
Kindness is a way of life. You want to care about people who live and work with you. You need to value the kindness and the goodness that is in you because it is significant—It can change the world around you and especially your world.
If you are done being used by people or feeling stupid, learn how to say no politely.
If someone takes advantage of you due to the fact that they see weakness, stay kind but confront them gently and show them that you are not weak.Identify them and stay away for them.Don’t let them bring you down , you are so precious.
“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness.” Jean-Jacques Rousseau
By the way, reserve some of your kindness and respect to yourself. People use you because you let them. Learn how to say no, and show self-respect and self-love. Do not let anybody take you for granted or see you less worth than what you are. But please, my dear friends, do not lose your kindness. It is a gift. You are blessed and you have a light in your heart.
The actual world needs your kindness and your goodness, we need and I need. You know what? Even those who take advantage of you need you way more than what they think.
Yeah, kindness rhymes with weakness but it also rhymes with brightness.
KEEP UP BEING KIND and shine bright 🙂
Be happy and safe.